I am a Musician, for a symphony (not really since “symphony” implies a specific musical style, but it sounds poetic) fills my being and my life. My life, like music itself, is a complicated myriad of obvious truths and mysterious juxtapositions. As it is with music without balance, one element of myself would glaringly stick out when its turn has not yet come. I am an evolution in one life, much like the unbroken line of musical creativity: who I am now is not who I used to be and who I will be will be undoubtedly different though my current state can trace through itself to what I used to be.
I am a Fighter, though usually not actively confrontational. I am a stalwart defender and supporter to my friends and those I love. A realization years ago has spurred me resolutely stand up for myself, my actions, my beliefs and those to whom I am honor-bound and loyal. No matter what, I will be there for all of those people, whether they ask for it or not.
I am a Student, for life is a classroom. I do not pass up the chance to learn. I ask the “dumb questions” for “he who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.” As a boy I began the habit of exploration. No one in my neighborhood knew the surrounding land as I did. As soon as I earned my driver’s license I spent days getting lost intentionally just to figure out how to get around. I have explored campus on foot and now I search the surrounding areas in my car when I have leisure to do so. I have also been a reader as far back as I can remember. These days find me occasionally doing research on any number of random subjects. As a student, I yearn to know.
I am a Listener. Many friends and family members discreetly confide in me on occasion. I honor the unspoken pact of silence. Some have told me that they come to me because of my honest and straightforward replies: I tell them how I see the truth, even if it’s not flattering to them. I gather every word and offer my own views when asked (someone said that I was using a wise-man “thing“ when I said a few particularly insightful things), though just as often I provide an ear only because sometimes that is all they want and need.
I am a Writer I enjoy putting pen to paper even if no one will ever read it. I have written and submitted essays to the HTH site because I wanted to write them, if anyone read them, so much the better. If I were not a writer, this assignment would be much more concise, perhaps even colorless and lacking in flavor. I also write when I have a spare moment. I write fiction and the occasional essays. At the moment I’m doing what I call character sketches for two stories since I think every character deserves the respect of having their own back story and being fleshed out, no matter how small a part they may have. Some of what I write down may never make it into the story, but I have a better sense of who these people are and the world they exist in.
I am a Teacher for I love to see others learn. Because I strive to always increase my own knowledge, I often have something to share. I have always loved to see people light up when they learn something, I’ve been like this ever since my youngest cousin was little and full of questions. Add to this the fact that rarely does a teacher ever come away without learning something himself and you get a reflexive aspect of me.
I am a Thinker for in real life I am not so reactionary as I am in the RP’s. I wait, synthesize what I know, weigh options and outcomes, plan a course of action, and then I make my move. Internally a lengthy debate may occur for days before a decision is made. This by no means implies that I am slow to act or think. I only take my time when I have leisure to do so. I am quite capable of making sound, thought-out decisions on the fly. I honestly have a fairly quick mind, and a lot of resources filed away in my mind to call upon when the need arises.
Despite the broad range of adjectives made available, I feel obligated to provide my own to describe myself. Versatile, in my opinion, and all its synonyms (yes, I looked them up) describes me rather well. There is almost nothing I can’t talk about or do. My interests are broad, but sadly not especially deep. Given the opportunity, I’ll try just about anything. Looking back on my life I see that my interests in research go in stages, so I am confident that in time I will be familiar with several more subjects and methods of practice (being able to do things). I am a Jack-of-all-Trades, and despite the disadvantage it my have in a Specialist’s world, I am proud of it. In addition, as I look at the list of provided adjectives, I find that I can use them all to describe some part of me, but I shall withhold details due to an attempt to keep this as manageable as possible. I can expound upon each of them in turn if requested.
Primarily my greatest skill refers back to the adjective that best describes me, thus versatility is my greatest skill. Add to that the fact that I love to learn and that I joyfully share what I know (teaching) and you begin to understand something: I integrate my talents into a gestalt-esque skill. I learn everything I can so that I know and can do many things, but I also share all this with who cares to listen. If I use all I’ve learned for myself alone, it becomes a selfish waste.
To come up with my greatest fear is difficult because of the “nothing should be feared, only understood” mindset I put myself into every waking moment. In my search I come up with two: one irrational and impossible, the other deep-seated and remotely possible. First off, zombies. Despite the fact of their theoretical impossibility, they scare the bejeezus out of me. Perhaps it’s the fact that they represent a great disruption of the natural order of things that gets to me. Either way, zombie movies (especially Romero’s Living Dead series) are my favorite horror movies because they leave me scared and uneasy. Secondly, I am afraid of betrayal by those I trust. Beyond the obvious hypothetical examples that leap to mind, I think I have this deep-seated belief that I have done nothing to deserve a lot of what my friends show me in trust, appreciation and respect, and I fear that they will realize this and turn their backs on me accordingly.
Realizing my weaknesses isn’t so difficult because I understand their importance, and when I create characters, I make sure they have weaknesses that I know about. I tend to have a problem starting on a project (such as this one). I usually begin work rather close to the deadline. Aside from that, there are times when I am timid, mostly when it comes to the emotions and opinions of others, and especially when it comes to the opposite sex. I could write a whole series of papers on my fears and weaknesses alone, but I’ll save you the boredom.
So, in a rather bulky and cumbersome nutshell, there you have me. I don’t
usually form opinions about or assess myself because I feel that I would
have a natural bias that we all would have about ourselves, so this took
longer than I originally intended. I still feel the best way to learn about
and know a person is to get to know them. But, a good way to put who I
am is this: I am Arkayanon, I am Brian, I am me.
1. Be an active and helpful member of my family
2. Continue practicing my clarinet over the Summer
3. Budget my money
4. Do some form of exercise regularly
5. Change diet to be more beneficial and healthy
6. Continue composing and arranging music
7. Build/make something
8. Work on my fiction writing
9. Keep in contact with friends and Brothers over the Summer
10. Study up on all things music
A. 1. A harmonic, caring and efficient family life, even if I have to force it down their throats (tongue- in-cheek, but it has come to that at times)
2. Because my family has never operated with any smoothness, and if I sit back and do nothing, it will continue ad infinitum.
3. By being as agreeable as possible the my family’s needs and requests except in cases where it is asking much of any one individual. I will let them know when it seems that they are treating each other unfairly as an outside impartial observer would see it. I will wield blunt truth like a weapon of mass destruction and I have no compunction about using it.
4. Everyday for the rest of our lives.
B. 1. Be bluntly honest, make sure my opinions and feelings are known and understood: no more being "walked all over." Speak up for others. Treat everyone with respect and fairness.
2. My family is stubborn almost to the point of lunacy. My dad is of the opinion that it is either his way or none. My mom gives in and coddles too easily. Daniel is relatively unmotivated on his own and Jeremy seems to enjoy being angry and has extreme difficulty with taking responsibility.
3. There is no deadline. This is an ongoing effort I will never end, and thusly never finish. A family is a dynamic entity and one cannot let it go on its own merry way for too long.
D. 1. I am starting to make progress with my mom and Daniel: she doesn’t coddle me anywhere near as much as she’d like to (I refuse to accept it) and Daniel is beginning to realize he can’t just sit around while the world around him happens. My dad has fleeting moments of understanding and Jeremy is rarely anywhere I can find him.
2. Being honest and stern while also listening and understanding.
3. The conflict of schedule with Jeremy and his sense of responsibility My dad’s insurmountable stubbornness and ignorance of how to show he loves us.
4. I can continue to show them that I care about them but will not go easy or give up on them.
A. 1. I want to further the habit of practice by doing so during a time where it is not required.
2. It would be a personal victory with rewards that may not be immediately clear, but may very well be of more benefit than rewards that I can get "now."
3. I’m going to force myself to do this.
4. Through the Summer will be the work, after the end will reveal success or failure.
B. 1. Based on my work schedule for each week I will determine when I can get an hour’s worth of practice in 5-6 days a week, and practice at those predetermined times.
2. I could find "something better to do" and neglect my practicing. Others may try to prevent my practicing for their own peace.
3. The first week of Summer is my deadline for beginning this.
A. 1. I want to plan how to use my money and follow that plan.
2. I’ve never budgeted myself and therefore have nothing to show for it.
3. By dealing with my earnings as planned immediately rather than letting it sit in my checking account where I can waste it. I’ll have help and support from my mom.
4. Another one of those life-long habit-forming goals
B. 1. Immediately put money toward buying a car, setting bare minimum aside for spending. After I get a car, I plan to set 1/3 of each check in savings for the purchase of a new clarinet, 1/3 used for tuition, bare minimum for spending, and the rest put into savings. Once clarinet is purchased, follow same plan, but extra money to tuition.
2. Biggest possible roadblock is my Transformers habit. Every so often I need to buy one, and I have two incomplete Transformer DVD collections.
3. The deadline is my first paycheck of the summer and this will hopefully continue beyond the Summer and into the rest of my life.
A. 1. A habit of physical health.
2. To improve my health and stamina, et al.
3. Look at my situation, environment, and means to determine what kind of exercises I am able to do.
4. Ongoing Life Habit.
B. 1. Exercise schedule: schedule exercise 3-4 times a week of a minimum of ½ hour at a time, plan a combination of aerobic and anaerobic exercises.
2. Being lazy. Distraction. Procrastination. Others’ demands on my time.
3. Deadline will be beginning of each session (the hard part is beginning it each time)
A. 1. A habit and taste for healthy foods rather than what suits my current fancy or what’s handy.
2. To improve my health and prevent illness (familial history of high cholesterol, diabetes)
3. Force myself to limit fatty, sugary, high calorie, high cholesterol foods. Increase essential vitamins and nutrients, and balance the foods I eat.
4. Ongoing Life Habit
B. 1. Research which common foods are healthy and which are not. Wean off unhealthy and replace with healthy.
2. Foods that are unhealthy are commonly tastier and cheaper. I’m Southern, so fried foods are a way of life and a social norm.
3. Another one with no clear-cut deadline
D. 1. I have been drinking skim mild for years. Doing well on cutting back fried foods. I rarely indulge in sweets. Soft drinks are my next targets.
2. Being conscious of what is on my plate. The consumption of more salads The removal of sugary foods but for rare occasions. I haven’t had fried chicken from the campus Chick-fil-a in a long time.
3. Still eating fries. I loves me some soda. Overcoming a cultural bias concerning "good food": fried items, desserts, buffets.
4. Be ever more conscious about my food. Learn about food. Choose healthier foods over the other options. Don’t eat to "bursting" or full.
A. 1. Any number of new pieces and arrangements of existing music.
2. I love to do it, and I have thus far had success with listeners’ and players’ opinions.
3. By spending time with a keyboard, Finale, and various other resources.
4. Every time I finish something.
B. 1. I will concentrate of 2-3 pieces at a time, see each of them through to completion, and then go back and finish music I’ve already started before beginning any new ones.
2. A new idea will hit me and I’ll neglect all other work while I concentrate on the new thing..
3. Get multi-movement clarinet quartet piece, woodwind quintet piece, and fanfare march completed by Summer’s end.
A. 1. To make something useful, preferably using wood.
2. I enjoy making things, especially when they’re useful. To have a sense of accomplishment.
3. Pick at least one or two projects from a mental list depending on need
4. By Summer’s end.
B. 1. Choose project, procure required materials, set up shop in the yard,
work on the weekends or days
off from work.
2. Money, time.
3. Summer’s end.
A. 1. To at least finish my current main story and fan fiction.
2. I enjoy telling a good story to paper and whoever will come along and read it.
3. By writing in those times I have nothing better to do.
4. By the end of next summer.
B. 1. Write to completion using every spare moment, edit, rewrite as needed, edit, and repeat as needed until finished.
2. I may forget about it on occasion. Frustration. Time.
3. End of next summer for first draft.
A. 1. Open and continued communication
2. Summer usually means a breakdown of friendly communication.
3. By way of emails and Instant Messenger (IM) programs.
4. Any time I can.
B. 1. Emails to Brothers keeping them abreast of important information and events. Sharing interesting things with all via email and IM.
2. Access to internet. Other priorities.
3. By end of the first three weeks of Summer I intend to have at least talked to five Brothers and three friends outside of the fraternity.
A. 1. A broad knowledge of music theory, instrument acoustics, composers, pieces, and music history.
2. I thirst for knowledge.
3. Library visits, internet research.
4. When I feel I can’t find anything else of interest and/or merit
B. 1. Visit library every two weeks and check out a fair number of books to read and research.
2. Schedule. Available resources.
3. No deadline: the road to knowledge is long, and not end is in sight
D. 1. Yes, I make periodic library visits.
2. Getting a few books at a time.
3. Getting too many books.
4. Realize what is a manageable load for the fortnight.
This school in itself represents (as far as I think) a unique opportunity for us all. Here, at our very fingertips is a means to take that "Hero" inside of us and incorporate him or her into our daily lives. From here we can add to that adventure that is our life and become heroes for ourselves and others.
>Originally intended (or so I've gathered) to get us all to improve our own lives, and possibly the lives of those around us, this site has become much more in short time. What began as a genre-centered self-help site has become a cooperative meeting ground for several people to meet, interact, and encourage. In our separate classrooms and shared "Main Hall" we have come to express a desire to role-play. Many different people from all over the world have come together to create and flesh out several adventures. My observations lead me to believe that the overwhelming trend in these adventures and discussions has been of acceptance and cooperation. Even though the age of this site my still be young, I have seen little to no flaming (besides wizards and their experiments) on the boards, and that strikes me as a very positive part of this site. One of the things we must do is take that acceptance and cooperation out of the classrooms and into our daily lives. This site is built upon work and we, as students, cannot dishonor that fact by sitting on our laurels.
I don't mean to darken you days and dash your dreams of the future with the doom of eternal work. No, of course not, that would only send many of you away. You see, the beauty of this site, as I’ve mentioned before, is its dual nature Again I tell you that several of us are role-playing on these message boards. I’m sure many of you look down upon role-playing as something only geeks do, but I must inform you that some part of you looked for a role to play, otherwise you wouldn’t have been interested in how you too could be a hero. These online role-plays have no true “dungeon master,” no dice are thrown, and you have a say in what happens. That’s right, you too have an impact. But isn’t that the point?
So I implore you, join us in the classrooms and the Main Hall, become active not only here, but also in your assignments. This site only becomes its full self when we take it into the real world and bring back the real world to the classes of How to Be a Hero.
Western Carolina University
245 Memorial Dr
Suite 8227
Cullowhee, NC 28723
January 13, 2004Captain Mombera MacGillicuddy
Silmaria, MareteDear Captain:
I was informed by a Brother of mine, and one of your men, Nicholas that you
were in need of recruits who would go on to be students and excellent warriors. I feel that I am suitable for your needs. Not only am I physically capable for the lifestyle, but I also have a keen intellect and a varied mind. I see myself as a strategist, being able to see a myriad of possibilities and choosing the best path for others and myself in my charge to follow. I believe I have much to contribute.Throughout my life of ups and downs, assorted trials and moments of fortune, I have developed and maintained a personal philosophy of 5 points:
Observation and planning is key to success. Only lucky wins and unfortunate death comes to those who rush into a situation.
It is in my opinion that any outfit can use someone with a level head, and Warriors can be more hot-blooded and rash than anyone. I feel that I can contribute this, but also that I can learn from others. Life is an ongoing education and I intend to learn everything I can from anyone I can.
I believe that I am part of what you are looking for, for no one man can be everything. I have held leadership positions in both my job and within school. I have held a leadership position in two marching bands (in high school and college), held responsibility for many aspects in my college career in and out of class for which many people depended on me. I have held the position of Assistant Department Manager at work (Kmart) for a year before attending college, and was an exemplary employee in both sales and sales floor maintenance. I am sure of my leadership abilities not because I demand obedience, but that I lead by example, and I have no fear of getting my hands dirty.
To your team of warrior students I bring many things. Loyalty is very large in my mind as essential to build bonds with others and to earn respect and trust. Honor is not only seen by the other warriors, but outsiders may see how we treat one another and know that we are good men and women who may be depended on by those who need any assistance. I also carry with me a love of learning and passing on what I know to others. I have helped to educate my younger brothers and youngest cousin over the course of many years, and my thirst for knowledge is seconded only by my willingness for sharing it.
Physical ability is important, and though I may not be the leanest nor fastest man ever, I can hold my own in tests of strain and strength. But all these things are useless without the wisdom to know how to act properly in any situation, and I try to envelope and develop wisdom in every part of me.
I appreciate the time you have taken to read this letter and consider my appeal for acceptance in your organization. I will very soon begin weekly reports, which I plan on continuing from that point on. If you need to reach me, email is the preferred method, but for the time being the above address may be used. When that address needs to change, I will promptly inform you. Again, I thank you for reading this letter (long as it may be) and humbly request a place in your school.Sincerely,
C. Brian Holder (Arkayanon)