If you want to know your past life,
Look into your present condition.
if you want to know your future,
look into your present action.
A way to proper "Doing" always starts with believing. The strength of the belief is the fuel for the doing, for unceasing action. A man of unsteadfast heart may also start to do what is right, and even succeed in it ay first. But when there comes a time of Trial - and it surely comes - such unsteady light but too easily starts to flicker until finally goes out.
It is one of the most crucial points to understand that being a Paladin is not a sort of some game or entertainment, another reason to feed one's pride, something that one may quit any moment when it ceases to amuse, to indulge, to beguile one's time, to bring satisfaction and please. A conscious decision to pursue the Way of the Paladin is much alike to a monk's profession: what is once done cannot be undone later. And one can not choose to be a Paladin only for the time being, as long as it pleases him. Who thinks so will never attain true Paladinhood. Once a Paladin - a Paladin forever, until death and even after death.
That is why, I am convinced, it is so important to make the belief clear and adamant prior to commencing any action: there will be no way back, you will never be able to retire. Yes, a good thing occasionally done, without any special belief, is good still. But as we speak of Paladinhood, it is a way you cannot abandon once you choose it. And if some slightest bit of doubt remains still, it may well be better not to make the first step at all, for it is a road with only one direction: forward... and if the belief is not firm, it may ruin the deed itself.
A Paladin does what is needed, does it because he must, his decisions and responsibilty for their results are his own only. And as Paladin often must do where no other has taken on, too oft is he a trailblazer, having to do with unique situations, having no ready-made solutions handy.
Despite all care and caution, it requires much not to bring harm instead of good. And it happens so that despite all intent the final outcome is not nearly as good as was intended. The only thing to be done here is to learn what is to be learned, to see and be able to avoid in future the obstacle that caused a stumble. If a failure was indeed grave, consciousness may become a burden. But let it not become another reason to stumble. Perfection is a thing rarely seen in life.
The truth is somewhere between - between the subconscious wish to find excuse in imperfection, and voice of consciosness that whispers in moments of solitude: "you should have done better"... But even if some setback knocks a Paladin down, go onward he must, even if it will be on all fours for a while, if only onward be the movement - as far as a Paladin is still alive, there will be a chance to do better.
It is a part of the Way of the Paladin to encounter the unhappiness
in
this world for the sake of those who are unhappy. So a Paladin should
be a happy warrior, shouldn't he? 
