The Way of the Paladin"To Seek, To Learn, To Do"
The Way of the Paladin
Negal
I, Negal Silverwing, am a peaceful, artistic and tolerant creature of the Realm of Unknown, who believes that Earth and its habitants need more good will and understanding.
The Challenge I am willing to face is to overcome the frigidity of the expression of my feelings and face taking great steps forward.
I will strive to be happy and make others happy through my gladness and self-sacrifice.
And same in Finnish:
Minä, Negal Silverwing, olen rauhallinen, taiteellinen ja suvaitsevainen
Tuntemattoman Maailman olento, joka uskoo, että Maa ja sen asukkaat tarvitsevat
enemmän hyvää tahtoa ja ymmärrystä.
Haaste, jonka olen valmis kohtaamaan, on voittaa tunneilmaisuni kylmyys ja
suurten askelien ottaminen.
Ponnistelen ollakseni onnellinen ja saadakseni muut onnellisiksi iloisuudellani
ja uhrautuvuudellani.
I have been forced to ponder heroes very often. Who are they? Are they people you admire deeply or are they just your idols? Who knows? Maybe a hero means different things to people. To someone it may be a person who has accomplished something great and big. To someone else a hero would mean a guide to life. Someone may think, that if I do the same things as my hero, I’ll be just like him/her.
And who is my hero? I have done discourses about my heroes, talked about them and wrote about them. But still I can’t directly answer the question: Who is your hero? Who do you admire so much you could consider him/her as a hero?
If I have a hero, that person should be a lot like me. Why would a consider someone as a hero, if I don’t like him/her? My hero should honour the same values as I. That would make him/her so special that he/she could be a hero to me. But unfortunately these kind of persons are not easy to find. I can always imagine a person worth of admiration, but finding someone from real life, who has the same values as I and who I find also sympathetic is really hard.
So if I could choose, my hero would be, of course, Skywalker. Luke I mean.
He has all the values of a good person, plus he’s so cute! But he doesn’t
exist in real world, what is a pity, because we could use some jedi knights…
A few years ago, or maybe a bit longer time, I can’t remember, I switched on a television. I saw an ending of the first episode of a document/movie. It told about a special person. My interests rose immediately. The document or should I say movie told about Audrey Hepburn. The funny thing was I’d never heard from her. She died when I was so young I didn’t know anything about anything.
During the next three weeks a watched the rest of the episodes of the movie. I learnt a lot. I suddenly knew a person who just deserved all the admiration I could give.
A learnt, that Hepburn grew up in Europe, and began acting and dancing. She did a lot of movies and plays, as the chorus girl or in the leading role. She was very beautiful and humble. She faced a lot of difficulties in her life, like two marriages and finally a cancer.
She worked as UNICEF’s Goodwill Ambassador, and helped many people during
that time. Some people have created even a Fund in her name.
Many people surely remember Hepburn from all the movies she made. I’ve
even seen one, How to steal a million.
I’m pretty sure I still wouldn’t know her if I hadn’t seen the movie about her. It was so touching, of course not everything in it was true, but to me it introduced me a person with right values, good will and nature and wish to help others.
I’m not really sure what I’ve learnt from Audrey Hepburn, but definitely something, otherwise I wouldn’t appreciate her so much. I know she not a pillar saint, we all have our dark sides, but she hid hers really well.
Last week my art teacher said her old dog had to put to sleep. She was really
sad, so I thought my new little hobby might cheer her up. I decided to paint
two ordinary rocks to look like furry and cute animals. One I painted at home,
but the second one I made at school. They both looked absolutely fine at the
end, and my teacher became very happy when she got them. She said she was just
about to move into a new house, and she’d find a perfect place for the
two field mice. They cheered her up a bit, and I think I did something nice
to her.
What I have also noticed that trying to find ways to help others open your eyes.
Suddenly you just start to see people who need some help in small or a bit bigger
situations.
by Negal
This is a picture of the Guardian of knowledge, the Warden of Lore. It is a dragon indeed, and obviously she is very wise. She's writing a book full of information, and she wishes to add it in her collection of books. It may not be seen, that she has the books of physics, history, chemistry and biology under har hand, keeping them safe, guarding them as her most precious treasure.
Knowledge is a very powerful tool for everyone, and I'd like that everyone in this world would share information with each other.
It took me a long time
To found what shall I believe
But when I found it,
It was clear and part of me.When I look this world,
I saw as I always did
But when I looked it again,
I could see it was different.Difference is out there
We can see it, but can we feel?
Can we respect it as it is,
Or do we change it?What would the world be
If there is no difference?
How can you travel abroad
To see what is pain?Why do we need to live
All in the same houses
Eat the same food
Wear the same clothes?Why do we need to see
Everything in the same way
Pain, where is happiness
And differences as a bad thing?All you need to do,
Is to look where you haven’t looked
Accept the differences
And be unique.
This is a mission that I feel important. Still I haven't got strength of will to do it. For a long time it seemed distant to me somehow. I knew my strength, but I couldn't tell it to anyone. I kept it hidden, so that no-one could take it away.
I first realised that I have courage. It's not always a good thing, but with a sensible wisdom of all the dangers of this world it has become a powerful tool for me. For a long time I was almost too shy to speak to other people, but little by little and with my courage I have rebuild my world. It's not so lonely and miserable anymore.
I'm very good at arts. I have an imagination full of different stories, and with my creativity I can express myself trough art and text. I'm also very conscientious. If I start something most of the time I finish it too.
I have now noticed, that I believe in right things. I defend very eagerly what I think is right, and that's a good thing. Most of the time I still spend inside four walls, so these chances to defend the right things are not too common. But it's enough for me to know that I would defend them, if no-one else would.
The last thing that gives me strength is that I can do a lot of things. I have already sold one of my paintings and a few clothes. I believe that I can cope in this world quite well. I know a lot of things, and I'm good in school. I'm not sure yet what I'm going to do in the future, but I'm not worrying about it.
Those things gives me the inner strength. To realise all those things I had to open myself to everything and let the world hit me a few times. They weren't any serious blows, but I know I'll be ready when the real ones comes, if they ever come.
I have found many walls in my life. Some I still have in front of me, some lies ruins in my past. I'm walking in the forest of life. Suddenly there's a wall in front of me.
The first wall I can see is the wall of Uncertainty. It's a huge brick wall, a lot taller than me. I want eagerly find a hole in it, or a door perhaps. There?s no tree over it, no way to pass it. I know I need to go through it.
But how, I wonder. I don't have the key. If I had it, I wouldn't close doors twice, just to make sure they're really closed. I wouldn't think every time I go to bed what chores I forgot, even if I knew which I had forgotten and which not. I wouldn't worry about cats, are they outside or in. I just don't trust myself, my eyes and ears.
The second wall I see, is the wall of Fears. I'm afraid of many things, and the biggest of them is failure. I'm afraid I fail myself. It means a lot to me. I always try to be sedate and calm and quite regulated and old-fashioned. I fear I fail. Most of my friends go out after school, to have fun, party and so on. The only place I can go is home. I spend my afternoons and even Friday evening at home, reading a book or playing computer games. I'm afraid of doing something else than I'm used to do.
The third wall I can see is the wall of Shyness. I don't like to be in big groups of people, and if I am, I won't be talking to anyone. I just sit somewhere and be quiet. I'm used to that, and people don't go to talk to me. If only one comes, I can talk to him/her, but even two around me? I'm the one who leaves first. Lot of people, especially people I already know and I have to meet again, make me nervous. I can barely talk to my friends.
Those were the biggest of my walls. A few days ago, I nearly torn one of them apart. The wall of Shyness is now a lot lower than it used to be. I have found the key to a door on the wall, and I'm very near to retrieve it.
I have now started to play live action role playing game, larps. I didn't found any near my home, so I made one myself. I prepared it with my sister for half a year, and when it was time to play, everything was perfect. People liked it, and I'm already making second. But making a larp wasn't the key, it was the role I played.
I was a young elven noble, who didn't like anyone. I tried to avoid becoming a druid. I loved making jokes and talking. So I talked a lot, more than I though I can. And even to strangers! I was wonderful, I have to admit. And I wasn't shy at all! I could do anything I wanted, and I even got captured by a whole tribe of orcs. And I was surrounded my them, all ten staring at me, weapons in their hands and a wish of eating my ears in their minds. I loved it, and soon I know, one of my wall will be behind, part of my past.
I'm not that shy anymore I used to be. It's a good thing, and soon I won't be having the wall in Shyness in front of me, instead it's behind me.
