I, Darla the Paladin, am a kind and compassionate human being who believes that reaching out towards others and touching them in some small way is as important as great deeds of heroism.
The Challenge I am willing to face is to overcome apathy and lack of motivation and face the possibility that some people in this world cannot, or do not wish to be helped, and may even resent me for trying.
I will strive to achieve a sense of community and love in those around me, through my sense of humour, naturally friendly nature, and desire for all people to live in harmony.
The issue I would like to discuss is that of Animal Welfare. I feel about this very strongly, particularly because animals cannot stand up for themselves. They cannot protest, or write letters to denounce the treatment they receive at the hands of humans. And I believe that it is our job, as Paladins, to protect and defend the rights of those who, for whatever reason, cannot fight for themselves.
This has always been an important issue for me - I have adored animals ever since I was a child. I even have an extremely difficult time killing spiders – unless they are very poisonous (and we do have a few of those in Australia) I try and take them outside and let them free. This is hard for me, since I am incredibly arachnophobic.
Amongst my friends and family I am fondly known as the person one does not take to animal movies, even of the Disney variety. Because as soon as some poor animal, cartoon or otherwise, looks hurt or upset, I start getting teary eyed.
This is one of the reasons I never became a veterinarian – much as I love animals, I don’t think I could cope with having to put them down.
This is also why I have always been so passionate about the health and happiness of animals, and why I have chosen Animal Welfare as the topic I would like to discuss.
Animal Welfare is quite a broad issue that encompasses many smaller individual subjects.
One of these is Testing on Animals, for both medical and cosmetic purposes. I am utterly opposed to the latter – why should animals be forced to undergo skin/eye irritancy tests so that humans can produce make-up? Why can’t the cosmetics companies use the test results they have already obtained? I think it is unnecessary and cruel to keep testing on defenseless animals simply to produce new and wonderful products to keep us looking younger and more beautiful. I don’t object to people wearing make-up, but there are companies who specifically do not test on animals. I think that people should make it their business to know if the cosmetics they wear come from companies that advocate animal testing. If so, then perhaps they could consider switching to a brand that doesn’t – they certainly do exist.
I think if people were to see pictures of what is done to these poor creatures who don’t have a voice to speak out against this treatment, except with whimpers of pain, they would think twice the next time they were to put on their makeup in the morning.
If enough people boycotted the companies, I’m sure they would sit up and take notice.
Another problem that falls under the heading of Animal Welfare is to do with stray animals. Too many animals live homeless in the streets, just like people. Not only is this bad for them, but it creates a public nuisance. Animal Shelters and Pounds are overflowing with stray animals and abandoned pets. Not all of them can find a home and unfortunately many are put to sleep without ever getting a second chance.
Several ways for people to do their part in helping to lessen this problem include:
Adopting pets from the local animal shelter.
Making sure that pets that aren’t specifically kept for breeding are
spayed or neutered. I used to think this was a cruel practice. Nowadays,
I severely regret the necessity and feel very sorry for the animal’s
pain after the operation. It is better, however, than having animals producing
litter after litter, the contents of which are either going to die or end
up on the streets and prolong the cycle.
Donating time or money to the local animal shelters. Even giving cans
or bags of pet food is a huge help. Much of the money raised by such organizations
goes towards the upkeep of the pets – anything that lessens this huge
cost output can only be of assistance.
Another way to get involved in Animal Welfare is to start/join a letter writing campaign. These are usually directed at politicians and/or companies and demonstrate that there are people out there who care about the welfare of animals. And where such people exist, there are votes to be acquired. Go straight to where it hits them most, and target their desire for your vote. These people are working for us, after all.
In conclusion, I would like to thank anyone who has ever done something to help an animal, since they can’t really thank you themselves. We are Paladins, and it is our duty and our calling to stand up for those who cannot act on their own behalf. Perhaps this assignment rings a bell with you – you already feel this way, and have acted on an animal’s behalf or helped them in some way. Perhaps you haven’t really thought about it much before, but might consider the problem at some point in the future.
Either way, it doesn’t matter. This is what I care about, and I intend
to tell everyone – if I can get even one person to do something about
this issue, then I will be content.
Motivation
This has been a problem for me for a while. I know I should be doing something, violin practice for example, but I don’t feel like doing it sometimes. This usually happens when I am feeling down or am in pain from a neck injury. The reason I know this is a wall of my own making is because I can do something about it. Usually if I start an activity (i.e. violin practice, exercise) I’ll start to feel a bit better and will almost always finish what I have begun. I know that I should try to remember this and at least make an attempt to start doing something, or else I’ll usually just waste time.
I don’t think that this wall is insurmountable because I have crossed it before (on all the occasions when I have finished an endeavor) and it feels really good to be on the other side. But sometimes I don’t seem to have enough energy to cross and I give up and just sit down at the base of the wall. I think that if I work at this problem, I might be able to make the number of times that I have crossed the wall much greater than the number of times I have given up.
Discipline
This is my biggest wall, and I think it is going to be a hard one to overcome.
Sometimes I should (or shouldn’t) be doing something, but I just can’t
seem to apply myself to the task at hand. I’ll even start finding excuses
for why I can get away with my lack of discipline, such as “I’m
not feeling well today - maybe I’ll go tomorrow”. For instance,
I know I should walk my dog every day: it’s good for her and for me.
If I don’t walk her, I feel like a horrible dog owner (especially when
she glares at me). Part of the problem comes from the motivation aspect. If
I have sufficient motivation, I can usually prompt myself to go and do an activity.
However, if the Motivation wall has not been crossed already, the discipline wall will NEVER be crossed. I will simply find excuses to avoid the activity. The same goes for eating chocolate – if I start eating it, I can’t stop. Even if I know I’ve had too much and that this is bad for me, I keep going. Chocolate discipline is very bad for me.
I think the Discipline wall will always be a problem for me. In some ways it is strange, since a musician does need to possess discipline to practice their instrument, and one would think that I had it already. But it seems as though there are some areas where my discipline fails me entirely.
Worry
I am definitely a person who worries about things, from the inconsequential to the big issues. My husband often complains about this one, because he is not one to really worry about anything. I worry that I will be in another car accident, because I’ve been in three already. This makes me quite nervous about being in a car. I know in my heart that worrying about something does absolutely nothing to help. But I can’t seem to help myself. And it seems to be possible to worry about how much I worry, which amuses me when I’m not worrying about it. What is interesting is that I encourage others NOT to worry about the things in their lives and even give them many reasons why worrying does not help the situation. I seem incapable of following my own advice in this matter. If I could overcome the Discipline wall, maybe this would be easier.
I was talking over this assignment with a friend and was interested to find
out that his walls were completely different to mine. What I found difficult
proved to be no problem for him and vice versa.
This just goes to show that we really do build our own individual walls. And since we know our inner selves better than anyone, it only stands to reason that the walls we construct ourselves are much more difficult to cross than those put in front of us by others. We know all our quirks and foibles and individual fears and pour all of these into the wall. Sometimes it even seems as though our walls are there to protect us from getting hurt, especially if we have suffered in the past. Our walls may seem like they will keep all the terrible things out of our lives. But, in reality, they are also keeping us trapped on the inside – how can we live life to the full when we are always trapped behind a wall.
In my case, if I worried less about things, then maybe I would get out and
do more. If I could find things to motivate myself, then perhaps the discipline
wall would not be such a barrier. And I think that overcoming these obstacles
of my own creation will give me a huge boost in self-confidence and also the
knowledge and experience to help me to defeat any walls I might create in the
future.
Background Information on Darla:
Quest for Glory
What Darla Does
Darla’s Hobbies
Darla is a roguish character with the soul of a Paladin. She believes that
laughter can cure the soul and enjoys all aspects of life.
I consider this to be the goal for my lifetime. I say this at age 22, but I hope that it will still be the case at age 82 (and maybe even beyond!)
This goal has personal resonance with me, as I believe it allows for many people to contribute in many ways. One person may join a World Aid organization, or become a political leader in order to improve their sphere of influence. But others may choose to lead quieter, less conspicuous lives, and still try to help those around them – perhaps by cooking food, or visiting a lonely person. Because I have not decided, if I ever do, an exact way I am going to try and undertake my life’s calling of being a Paladin, this goal appeals to me because it is so broad. I am sure that I want to help all those around me that I can reach. I would like to help the world, particularly in the area of World Peace, but I feel so small compared to the big picture. I think that I will start one step at a time, and I believe that the first step is to help those nearest to you.
I take the Paladin calling very seriously – I have felt it for a long time, but have only recently acknowledged it. It began when I was young, being brought up to treat others the way I would like to be treated myself. Reading material and computer games further influenced my choice. Joining How to Be a Hero was the catalyst for me to finally realise my most important goal and provides the inspiration for me to try and achieve it. I want to do something good in my lifetime, so that I can look back and know that I helped people.
If I couldn’t work towards this ideal, I feel as though my life would lose much of its meaning.
Risk-taking is not at all appealing to me, and never has been. If the risks are minor (such as the occasional small currency bet), then I don’t really care. But the potential to lose in risk-taking behaviour is what disturbs me. Some people don’t realise what they are risking, and that it affects other people besides themselves.
Perhaps the fact that this goal doesn’t appeal to me suggests I am a fairly conservative person who does not find risky behaviour appealing or exciting. On the contrary, it makes me quite worried.
This relates directly to my main goal. Whether I consider ‘work’ to be my employment, or my work as a Paladin, I would always hope to uphold my code of ethics. In my work as a violinist and teacher, I am constantly trying to make sure everyone feels valued for what they are doing. I try not to engage in malicious gossip about my fellow colleagues, for I believe that What Goes Around, Comes Around. The only down-side to this goal is that I tend to get disappointed when other people behave contrary to my code of ethics. While I realise that everyone is different and entitled to their own opinion, I really don’t like spiteful or nasty behaviour.
I set very high standards for myself. I always pride myself on delivering polished performances and trying my best. I don’t tend to get involved in things unless I believe that I can do a good job. I would never want for anyone to think that I delivered a below average piece of work. My high standards do not necessarily extend to those around me – I want them to try their best, but I don’t really care about the results.
Again, this relates to my Main Goal. If I achieve nothing else in life, I would like to believe that I made the people in my life a bit happier for having existed. I love humour and comedy and believe that laughter is one of the most important things in the world. I try to make other people laugh and be happy whenever I can.
I believe this is an essential ingredient for leading a happy life. If I am unhappy with what I am doing, that is certainly going to spill over into other areas of my life. Occasionally I will not enjoy what I am doing: this is normal, and no big deal if it does not last for too long. If it is an ongoing situation, however, I believe it is better to make changes, otherwise one risks becoming depressed/unhappy, which will adversely affect those around you. Usually I will put up with a “less than ideal” situation for a fair while. When I feel like I can’t take it anymore, then I have been known to withdraw or leave.
I am not sure what I feel about this goal. I certainly do enjoy being able to influence policy direction in numerous organizations (student politics, advisory boards for orchestras). I actually can’t stay away – I’m not sure if this is a weakness or not. I hope this does not mean I am becoming “power – hungry” and attention seeking. I would also hate to think that my presence or contributions were annoying other people in any way. If this were the case, I would probably withdraw (see above), because I wouldn’t enjoy it if I knew that it was upsetting people.
However, I only become involved in organizations that I really care
about and believe I can help or make a difference. Seeking power just
for the sake of possessing it does not appeal to me. It’s why you
want it, and what you do with it that matters.
I have been reflecting on some of my actions, in light of Mshashvri's Habit of Heroism 1.
I have a friend who does not have the best situation. He is unemployed, is doing very badly financially, does not have a girlfriend or significant other, and can't cook. He is a very nice person, witty and mostly kind to others.
Unfortunately he has a tendency towards being a bit lazy, and doesn't really do much to improve his situation (like applying for jobs, going to social functions to meet people, saving money rather than spending it on DVDs and computer games). This wouldn't be so bad if he didn't complain about all the bad things in his life all the time and keeps telling everyone else how much better off they are than him.
I always try to help him in small ways - we invite him around about once a week, often for dinner. We do this because we know he's very lonely and we care about him. The hard part is, he almost never thanks us for our efforts. He also never returns the hospitality, or even offers to bring anything to contribute to the meal. We understand that he isn't that well off, but then neither are we.
Some of our other friends are starting to have a problem with his attitude - they think he doesn't do anything to improve his current situation, so why should they continue to expend effort on his behalf when he won't even do it himself.
I am not sure what to do in this situation - I was interested to read Mshashvri's response to her situation. She helped her friend once he had started to mature and take responsibilty for himself.
I wonder if I keep trying to assist my friend, will he ever learn to stand on his own two feet and start helping himself? Should I stop what I've been doing?
I have dropped several subtle hints in his direction, which he either doesn't receive or ignores for whatever reason.
I could try a more direct approach, but since I think he's quite depressed upon occasion, I don't want to make it any worse, since I don't know how he'd react. He would probaly think that even his close friends have abandoned him, therefore everything in his life is a failure. I don't know that he'd do anything drastic, but I don't wish to find out.
What I have decided to do is to keep helping out - I have always believed in leading by example. If I get taken advantage of, so be it. I would rather that happen than fail to help a friend when they really needed it at a difficult time in their life. Who knows - maybe in the future he might be able to do the same favour for someone else. That is what I hope for.
by Darla
What makes me strong enough to withstand the blows against my self-esteem and sense of honour and goodness when I try and do the right thing?
Sometimes people mock me when I try to do good deeds. It seems strange, actually, because being a do-gooder would seem to me to be something to be encouraged, not scorned. Most people are only teasing, but there are a few who seem to be annoyed by it. I think this is because they do not share my ideals, or are cynical about them and think that I am wasting my time.
I think the biggest problem is caused when people have a different sense of what is ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ and all the grey areas in between. You can try to be as tolerant as you are capable of being, but sometimes the views of other people can be so diametrically opposed to your own as to make resolution impossible. I find this very frustrating, when I cannot find common ground with someone. I do not blame either of us, but I wish that it were otherwise.
There are also the cynics, who don’t believe that you can make a difference, so why bother.
Usually the goal of trying to be a good person and stand up for the ideals that I believe in is enough to keep me going through adversity. I am happy with what I am trying to do with my life – spread goodness and happiness to all those I can reach.
Sometimes, though, I can feel depressed and unmotivated by unfavorable reactions from people. This feeling usually doesn’t last long, however. Within a few days I have bounced back and am ready to continue. I think this is because I know in my heart that I am truly trying to do the right thing according to my beliefs, and that I have to have faith in myself for this task to be accomplished.
My faith in myself is supported by those things I know to be good qualities of mine:
Compassion – I have been called ‘soft-hearted’, but I do reach out to those in need, whether human or animal. Sometimes I have been berated for not making more distinction between the two and regarding humans as more important. I believe, however, that there is no evil in treating them equally, since I am trying to help both species.
Tolerance – I try to be accepting of people of all races and beliefs, even if I don’t always believe in them.
Mercy – I do not hold grudges. If a person is genuinely sorry and asks forgiveness, I find that I can no longer be angry.
Humour – I try to laugh often, and make others laugh as well. I like to make myself and others feel a bit happier. I know that I always feel better after I laugh.
When my faith in these qualities is not enough, I also draw strength
from a number of other sources:
My family and friends, who are all very close, provide love and support to one another, so I know I can turn to them if I need help or advice.
My husband, who is sometimes cynical about my beliefs, but who encourages me nonetheless and provides unconditional love and support in whatever I do.
Knowing that there are people out there who are working towards the same goal and that if we support each other in this task, the world will be a better place.
My confidence that the actions I do are helping to make the world a bit better, however small the amount.
My belief that trying to follow these ideals, even if I can’t do very much, is better than not trying at all.
This assignment has actually helped me to identify the sources of my
strength when fighting for a better world. I believe that the act of
identifying them will help me to draw more readily upon them in times
of need, and help me to continue my goal.
