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Facing the Sunset
by Anna
"...bears all things
believes all things
endures all things.
Love never Fails."
1 Corinthians 13:7-8
(Ayaika)
Angel Photograph
by
TxPaladinWarrioress
Wherever dragons roam the night
We heroes stand with heroes’ might.
- Almirena
Soul of a Hero
by Brankauti
Wherever dragons roam the night
We heroes stand with heroes’ might.
- Almirena
Here we share the thoughts and actions by other Seekers at our fine Paladin School.
Life, simultaneous in it's replete
Simplicity and complexity, doth
Leave naught but disarray (so is betroth
The two) in the order of things. Complete
Salvation, so far away, takes a seat
To watch over all that is, as the moth
Draws ever nearer the flame, though a cough
Could extinguish it, and ne'er the two meet.
To face that Fate takes more than a mere sense
Of heroism: indeed, the true test
Of mankind it is. To serve, as a kiss,
Oneself to the flame, if only to fence
Out shadows that hide in the mind: a best
Gift 'tis. To be a true hero is this.
I took time to care of a family this week. Their daughter had always been sickly, with liver issues, mental/emotional trauma and insomnia, but for all that, loved art and has a desperate need to care for others. She'd been sick for a while to mild delirium and unable and unwilling to move from bed and being the "accidental child" in a family of perhaps five or more children, her parents are already quite old and greying, and always had been more stubborn unto themselves than others.
I took the knowledge I had of things to cure from the heart out and purchased several things difficult to find:A large jar of quince jam tea; medicine-less candies extra strong in honey and
mint to beat any cough drop; special kind of ripe Asian pears which do not normally
ripen until October; a large loaf of sweet bread lined with delicate cream inside
in two rows so biting is much the effect as a child with smores and bearded faces.
Each would not effect the lass's liver or health save to sweeten and better it.
I spent some time (not overmuch, for the family's way is to be tired and drained)
to lighten spirits and made sure they knew to brew the tea just right; the candy
to replace the cough drops; to serve the pears fresh and cold along with the
tea, and the cream bread to lighten spirits with green tea or Earl Grey and cane
sugar.
I saw the lass a few days later with fuller spirits than her norm and a gentle smile on her face. She held me tight and spoke sweet in thanks of how much the tea, fruit and candy had helped. Her mother it seemed, ate all the sweet bread.
I dream of a world where I can live a simple life.
Free from fear, free from violence, free from oppression.
Just my loved ones and myself, free and happy.
I was awakened from the dream many years ago this day.
To me, war was always so distant, so quick, so relatively painless.
No more. Now the dream is distant.
We are awake, we worry, we fear.
The children cry, confused and frightened. The old quietly shake their
heads, the dream that they have pursued their entire lives now put beyond
their reach.
And the young, inexperienced yet still full of life, must decide.
To let the dream die, or to keep it alive, and fight for its life.
We reach out, and pick up arms. We speak to the old, and learn to fight.
We band together, and move as one.
We seek out those who threaten our loved ones, our home, our freedom.
And
we fight them, so that they will never harm anyone ever again.
In choosing the path of the warrior we distance ourselves from the dream.
For some of us, the dream dies forever.
But in each death, the dream lives on in those we leave behind.
We live to defend, fight to protect, and die so that the dream never
does.
We are warriors. Our duty to our people is our way of life. We choose
the
life of violence and suffering so that others will not have to.
In our deaths we hope that you will find life, and make the dream reality.
Who am I? I do not doubt that this is one of the hardest questions a person has to face, and even more so to answer honestly and truthfully. Why might I emphasis "truth" here? I define truth as the alignment of knowledge and reality, when what one knows corresponds to what one also sees. And so when I define myself, what I believe I am must also be consistent with what my peers believe I am. Having established that, I thus set off on this task to bring my being into words: to search the depths of my soul for my hopes and dreams, to find traits in the motives of my deeds, and to define my beliefs by my faith and convictions.
Like most, I am not the same person I used to be, but I feel my values and morals have always been constant. I may have adapted and changed from events in my life but my beliefs never swayed. If anything was to come from these changes, it was only to realize to put these to put these values into action: to not merely say what I believe, but to live what I believe.
And I imagine this is how many people feel. I knew at a young age what I believed in, but to be able to express those values by putting them into action was a difficulty for me. To see people hurt as a child, and to not understand or know how to comfort them was heart-wrenching for me, yet I always knew that I wanted to help. And as I have grown, my experiences and age have only helped me to realize what I can do.
As I've come of age, I see that I don't have to be held back by my youth any longer. I can live what I believe and can answer to those who would question why I would want to go out of my way for others. I can tell them why I stand unashamed for what I believe in, why I choose the Light and why I feel inclined to battle darkness.
Yet another of my traits is to be as truthful as is possible, and I don't want to appear to gloss over my life as some noble example. I'm much too humble for that and I don't believe in leading by words; instead, lead by what you do. I'm only human and I make my fair share of mistakes, but I don't limit myself by failures, nor do I define myself by them. I believe in the innate, even if untapped, good in all people, so follies serve as pinnacles of learning to me that I must rise above and conquer.
Even when I may do something worth mention, I think living as a quiet example and letting my works speak for themselves is better than acting proud and self-righteous. I would rather lift others up for their achievements and accomplishments rather than my own. And while humility is highly ineffective in a job interview, I find this far more valuable than any gains I could make by trampling over others. I refuse to bring pain to others and question those who choose to do so. My shoulder is always free and open for those who need it to cry on and my arms are always willing to give a comforting hug.
I am faithful, steadfast, and determined in what I do, whether that means always being there for a friend or staying up late to finish a project others would have gladly given up on. I am obedient and trustworthy, which underscores why I would make such a poor rogue, as I am neither sly nor stealthy. This is sometimes my comical undoing, as I can only admire the wit of others since I lack it myself.
Unfortunately, being in such situations where others take advantage of me has not only taught me that life can be difficult and lonely, but also that I should be a bit emotionally shielded or guarded. Or, as in the most extreme and exclusive physical case, aggressive - and I only include this adjective as a two boys once attacked me and I gave them a belittling fight they will never forget. To be honest, I feel as justified in this reaction as my Hollywood hero Peter Parker would feel when he paid back the thief that killed his dear Uncle Ben. I have no doubt those two boys would have hurt someone else too if I didn't teach them a small lesson. But to return to my topic, this may be the most awkward piece of who I am, as I am often torn between just taking abuse and trying to hide my pain or bitterly hoping karma pays my aggressors back. I am a trusting person, but I have a hard time letting others try to help me even if I really need their help, as I fear being let down and hurt more. But fortunately in more humorous circumstances, even if I lack wit, I don't lack in the wisdom and common sense that has come with a maturity that is beyond my years.
I'm also a slightly reserved person, but only in a thoughtful manner, as I would rather think about what I say before the words leave my mouth. I am reflective and realistic, and while I am optimistic as well, I don't romanticize the world or try to escape what it is. This is also why you will never catch me in the act of consuming the alcoholic beverages which some of my fellow colleagues adore. I don't have any critical desire to impress them with alcohol induced antics. And to the cynics, no, I am not a prohibitionist stoic who refuses to have fun. I have no difficulties whatsoever having a great time with my friends by safer means, as I value and appreciate my bonds with them above losing all my sense to liquor. Besides, I'd much rather be able to soberly ensure everyone gets home safely if I receive a call to retrieve someone less than capable of driving home.
Who am I, truly? I hope I have done some justice to the question, though my characteristics seem ineffably complicated to pinpoint and describe. Boiled down into my simplest elemental form, I am my values, my beliefs, my hopes, and my dreams. I am a Believer, a lover, a friend, and though I only deserve the most minimal definition of this word, not the title, I believe I am a Paladin, set upon this earth to help when and where others will not.
